I forgot myself.

Let's be honest. I spent the last three years forgetting myself in an attempt to be normal. I will never be normal. I will never be that person. I will never forget myself again.

The person I tried so hard to forget was the person who felt closer to herself when she was closer to nature. I found myself in the quiet of the stones and fields and abandoned homes. Lost in the midst of three trailers located one mile from the road in the middle of a field that seemed to dwarf below the mountains.

I felt frightened by the enormity of the rocks and the trees and the stones. I felt lost in the wind and that at any moment anything and everything could happen and I would be lost forever.

But in that loss of control and self, I found myself. I found my heart. I found my calling.

Thank you Santa Rosa for reminding me of what truly drives this beating pulsing heart.